My Christmas Party Addiction

posted in: Cancer, Encouragement, Faith | 0

One of my favorite things about Christmas parties was that they helped me say something a little louder than usual: that I was so effing glad to be alive. Hope springs up in the gloom. Not everything is lost. Even if every horrible thing about empire and injustice and cancer cells is true, a little baby is still about to be born who will crack open the world.

Decisions

posted in: Encouragement | 12

  This is us yesterday, celebrating. Zach was singing and dancing in a very un-Mennonite way. I’m sorry that it’s been about six months. Please forgive me because it wasn’t at all personal…it’s only that I had a lot I … Continued

No Kate Left Behind

posted in: Encouragement | 18

This. This right here is the most powerful thing I know: this bizarre freight train of love for a boy who asked for a fly swatter (see bottom right of photo) and car keys (without a car) for Christmas. This … Continued

Delayed

posted in: Encouragement | 33

When Toban came to find me in the cancer center waiting room, we both knew that was probably one of the most important days of our lives. So he immediately started to laugh when he got close enough to realize … Continued

Alone

posted in: Encouragement | 13

Most of my worst thoughts hover around a single word. Alone. For a long time, I felt like I was the only person in the world who will die. It was the weird feeling that began in the haze of … Continued

The Hard Way

posted in: Encouragement | 21

“There’s the gradual, long way up the mountain—and that’s the easier way.” My oncologist is looking at me very sternly, which I know is difficult for him. He’s very nice, and this is the closest thing he’s ever given to … Continued