Grief

When I was 39, I was diagnosed with stage 3b colon cancer. I was wrecked, about to buy a home and start grad school, I couldn’t make sense of it.

After undergoing a major surgery and a year of chemo, I experienced remission for one year. And then yep, you guessed it, my colon cancer made an appearance and upgrade to Stage 4 colon cancer with no curative options.

I underwent a horrible surgery; exploratory laparotomy/debulking/hysterectomy. Now once again, I’m on a maintenance chemo. And although I feel happy to be alive, I can’t cure the grief for the life I thought I would live, in a fixer-upper with a husband and an MBA. I have none of those things by the way and I’m left here sorting through mounds of grief, alone.