Shaky Self-Esteem

I’ve always wanted to fit in and have the perfect behavior so know one would ever know how messy my life was! I’ve imposed so much pressure on myself to be perfect that it left me empty and suicidal. Today I understand that life is messy and it’s ok to not be ok! I want to be honest and stop pretending that I’m always happy because I’m not. I’ve even left the church because I can’t bare the idea that if I have enough faith and pray good enough prayers God will reward me. I don’t want to live with the performance pressure anymore. Thank you for being honest and bold about this toxic positivity craziness that is invading every area of our lives and leaving us craving for always more!