One of my favorite things about Christmas parties was that they helped me say something a little louder than usual: that I was so effing glad to be alive. Hope springs up in the gloom. Not everything is lost. Even if every horrible thing about empire and injustice and cancer cells is true, a little baby is still about to be born who will crack open the world.
We might not all achieve ram-a-stranger’s-car-into-a-pole stress levels, but holidays have a way of making us feel frantic. Let’s take a minute to realize that we are entering what the church deems Pretty Special Time (PST, sometimes confused with Pacific Standard Time.) CHRISTMAS IS COMING, people. Everyone get ready!
Being together for family holidays when things have not been okay in your world can be, well, not awesome. Everything is heightened, and there is already enough pressure for everything to be perfect. You want to be together. You want to be anywhere else. How can you be present when most of the situation makes you want to hide?
On Monday, I started teaching again for the first time. On Wednesday, the hospital tried to hospitalize me for low blood pressure. On Friday, I got a cold and stopped sleeping. On Saturday, I was accused of murder. And my … Continued
This is us yesterday, celebrating. Zach was singing and dancing in a very un-Mennonite way. I’m sorry that it’s been about six months. Please forgive me because it wasn’t at all personal…it’s only that I had a lot I … Continued
This. This right here is the most powerful thing I know: this bizarre freight train of love for a boy who asked for a fly swatter (see bottom right of photo) and car keys (without a car) for Christmas. This … Continued
When Toban came to find me in the cancer center waiting room, we both knew that was probably one of the most important days of our lives. So he immediately started to laugh when he got close enough to realize … Continued
Most of my worst thoughts hover around a single word. Alone. For a long time, I felt like I was the only person in the world who will die. It was the weird feeling that began in the haze of … Continued
“There’s the gradual, long way up the mountain—and that’s the easier way.” My oncologist is looking at me very sternly, which I know is difficult for him. He’s very nice, and this is the closest thing he’s ever given to … Continued