a blessing for not your best self

God, I can’t tell
which person
I will be today:
kind and loving,
turn-the-other-cheek and I’ll-be-right-here,
soft but strong.
I will keep no record of wrongs.

I might be someone else entirely:
brittle and judgmental,
I’m-taking-my-share and
you-deal-with-it-alone,
hard but weak.
I will keep every record, dammit.

I am an accountant in this world
that does not give me what I’m owed.

God, these multiple selves, you know
(of course you know) are parts of a whole.

You send the love I have to give.
You grieve the pain that
causes me to withhold.
You send your spirit every day
not to stitch us back together
but to heal every tender part
from the inside out.

So, in the meantime,
bless this generous self,
bless this breakable self,
bless these many parts and
make them whole.

(From Have A Beautiful, Terrible Day!)