a blessing for parenting teenagers

Bless you who love a teenager.
You whose worries about them keep you up at night.
wondering if you’re doing it right,
if they’re going to be okay,
if you over-reacted or under-reacted.
If you’re going to make it through tomorrow without losing it.
Or how you’re going to have that hard conversation without them shutting down or shutting you out.

Bless you in this hard, beautiful work.

In those moments of big feelings,
may you remember to take a beat and offer a:
“If I was in your shoes, I’d feel the same way.”
(Even when you’re tempted to give them advice
or to solve their problem for them.
Or to offer how they could have avoided the problem in the first place.)

Bless you in your restraint.

May you know when to intervene and
when to stay that steady, calm presence
that will offer them the grounding
to grow and change their mind and make mistakes.
May you have the patience to affirm their normal
(sometimes very big) feelings
and may your constant love relieve their fears (and yours).
May laughter and joy fill your home,
fueling even the hardest of moments or most difficult of conversations.

And bless all of you who wish you would have gotten this kind of parenting.
And bless you who want to do it differently,
even when it’s imperfect.

Bless you my dears.