a blessing for you who feel like the bad thing - Kate Bowler

Susan David: Toxic Positivity

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a blessing for you who feel like the bad thing

a blessing for you who feel like the bad thing

Here’s a blessing for you who feel like the bad thing.

You are everyone’s reminder of frailty, of life’s cruelty. Your chronic pain or depression or regular scans remind those around you that life isn’t as fair or easy as they had hoped.

Blessed are you who try to hide your humanity. You who temper your complaints, who avoid mentioning your next appointment, who pretend you are doing better than you are to make reality a little more palatable for others. You, who try and try and try to make yourself easier to love, easier to be around, easier to manage.

But, dear one, blessed are you because you are not the bad thing. Your illness or grief or despair or addiction is not too much. It’s just your humanity showing.

And blessed are we who get to see it up close. Who, despite our own fears and reminders of our finitude, get to hold your hand as you face each day with courage as you face things you didn’t choose. It is this kind of courageous living– the kind that shows all the shabby edges– that we are so thankful to see up close.

You, blessed one, remind us that life is so beautiful and life is so hard. And we feel lucky for the privilege to do life with you — no matter how difficult, no matter how messy.

You are not the bad thing. You are a gift. And we love every bit of you.

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Lynn
Lynn
4 months ago

I have read and reread this blessing over multiple days. It comforts me. It causes unshed tears to flow freely. It acknowledges my lies of omission as I share less and isolate more. It exposes what I cannot hide from myself and what I am trying desperately to hide from others. My chronic, progressive incurable disease is progressing. I am grieving my losses. I am missing who I was. I am grateful for this compassionate blessing.

Katie | Team Everything Happens
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Katie | Team Everything Happens
3 months ago
Reply to  Lynn

Oh, Lynn, my heart aches with you. May you find peace in the knowledge that you are not the bad thing, even during this grief-filled time. I hope that our little community at Everything Happens can continue to serve you amidst it all.

Alton
Alton
3 months ago

As someone fighting AML, I thank you for this blessing. I worry that my illness weighs too heavily upon friends and family. Thank you for lightening my emotional load.

Katie | Team Everything Happens
Katie | Team Everything Happens
3 months ago
Reply to  Alton

Our team is holding you close in our thoughts, Alton.

Karen
Karen
3 months ago

I generally feel as if I shouldn’t “qualify” to relate to everything you post. But this blessing is so entirely relatable. I have had my entire life upended over the last ten years, and yet I feel I am not allowed to acknowledge it because that would be wallowing. I see it on the faces of my coworkers, I hear it in the tone of text messages with friends and family, I know they want me to “feel better”, to “be strong”, to “look forward”, to “appreciate what I have”. But I feel broken and exhausted and lost, and it… Read more »

Katie | Team Everything Happens
Katie | Team Everything Happens
3 months ago
Reply to  Karen

Karen, I’m so grateful that this blessing felt meaningful for you, and equally saddened to hear that means you’re walking through such a difficult season. I hope you find those who can care for you in that exhausted state, without rushing the healing. Our team is thinking of you.

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