I am rummaging through this day
in search of evidence
that tomorrow could be different.
As many times as I wake up
determined to bend the future
with each effort and expectation,
my conviction evaporates by the day’s end.
Lord, we are given so few chances
to direct the course of our lives.
So with what little is in my control,
could you help me try?
Let me know the satisfaction of sleep
exhausted by my effort.
Walk me to the edge of comfort
and keep me there long enough
to reach for something more.
Rescue me from familiar self-hatred.
(You’ll never do it. You can’t do it.)
Refine my ambition into honest goals.
Quiet my mind when it is already certain
that nothing could possibly be different.
And rekindle a tenderness in my uncertain heart
for my own small moments of courage
for you’ve given me nothing to do
but what’s mine to be done.