Stanley Hauerwas Archives

Kate Bowler

ABOUT
- Meet Kate
  Hi, I’m Kate. I’m a Duke professor, podcaster, and author with a single mission: giving you permission to feel human. After years of being told I was incurable, I was declared cancer-free. But there’s no going back. I am forever changed by what I discovered: life is so beautiful and life is so hard. For everyone.
  ABOUT KATE
  Get to Know Me
  HUMAN
  AUTHOR
  PODCAST HOST
  SPEAKER
  How to Connect
  NEWSLETTER
  BOOKING
  EVENTS
  CONTACT
  PRESS
PODCAST
- Everything Happens.
  Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens.
  See All Episodes
  Emi Nietfeld
  The Cost of Survival
  Listen Now The Cost of Survival
  Lisa Damour
  Understanding Today’s Teenagers
  Listen Now Understanding Today’s Teenagers
  Rob Delaney
  A Heart that Works is a Heart that Hurts
  Listen Now A Heart that Works is a Heart that Hurts
  Jenna Bush Hager
  Get in the Game
  Listen Now Get in the Game
BOOKS
- Books
  Let’s untangle our culture’s obsession with toxic positivity and self-help, shall we? Kate studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we’re capable of change. She is the author seven books including three instant New York Times bestsellers.
  All Books
  Everything Happens for a Reason
  (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)
  The Lives We Actually Have
  100 Blessings for Imperfect Days
  No Cure for Being Human
  (And Other Truths I Need to Hear)
RESOURCES
- Resources
  Our goal with Everything Happens is to create rich language and vibrant community that sustains us when life comes apart. Below, you’ll find categories that may be good starting points for you. Inside are a mix of podcasts, blessings, support guides, and bonus resources that we hope will be useful.
  ALL RESOURCES
  Types
  BLESSINGS
  DEVOTIONALS
  SUPPORT GUIDES
  COURSES
  FREE DOWNLOADS
  Topics
  ILLNESS
  GRIEF
  WHAT NOT TO SAY
  RESILIENT FAITH
  INSPIRING LIVES
  NUANCED HOPE
  CARING AT HOME
  CARING AT WORK
  COMPLICATED FAMILIES
  MOVING FORWARD

Every week I usually forget most of the basics:
a) you are loved. b) life is absurd. c) it’s hard to be a human.

If you want some smart, kind, and funny encouragement to get you through your week, sign up for my newsletter. I’d love to be your reminder.

Name

First Last

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I’m also interested in church/ministry resources sent monthly.

Follow along on socials

@katecbowler

Fair warning: If I offer to bring a picnic, I’ll need 234 pieces of tupperware for the cheese. Sorry, you wanted FOOD and not just a cheese board? Well, I also brought wine. Is that what you were asking?

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Fair warning: If I offer to bring a picnic, I’ll need 234 pieces of tupperware for the cheese. Sorry, you wanted FOOD and not just a cheese board? Well, I also brought wine. Is that what you were asking?

Well if it isn’t my favorite Mary Laura of all possible Mary Lauras! I met this delightful human after she wrote the book “Bomb Shelter,” and she came on the Everything Happens podcast to talk about motherhood and creativity and living with uncertainty. And I *immediately* wanted to be her friend but this was my very first chance to go for dinner if she could tolerate me in person.

Me: Are you sure this romper isn’t too rompy? I think this is a nice restaurant.

Her: It’s great! It’s yellow! It’s perfect!

Me: I feel like it might be too “I wish I was on a beach but I’m not I’m in this air conditioned restaurant.”

Her: It is going to change everything. But wait, I want to call the restaurant to see where to park.

She calls. No one picks up. The voicemail message plays for us over the car loudspeaker.

Restaurant Voicemail: Parking is on the street. And the dress code for the restaurant is… “resort casual.”

We screamed. We screamed unnecessarily. I was resort casual. The evening was going to be perfect.

@marylauraphilpott, I love you and every chance to scream with you about nothing. And thank you for calling me a delicious starfish.

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Well if it isn’t my favorite Mary Laura of all possible Mary Lauras! I met this delightful human after she wrote the book “Bomb Shelter,” and she came on the Everything Happens podcast to talk about motherhood and creativity and living with uncertainty. And I *immediately* wanted to be her friend but this was my very first chance to go for dinner if she could tolerate me in person.Me: Are you sure this romper isn’t too rompy? I think this is a nice restaurant.Her: It’s great! It’s yellow! It’s perfect!Me: I feel like it might be too “I wish I was on a beach but I’m not I’m in this air conditioned restaurant.”Her: It is going to change everything. But wait, I want to call the restaurant to see where to park.She calls. No one picks up. The voicemail message plays for us over the car loudspeaker.Restaurant Voicemail: Parking is on the street. And the dress code for the restaurant is… “resort casual.”We screamed. We screamed unnecessarily. I was resort casual. The evening was going to be perfect.@marylauraphilpott, I love you and every chance to scream with you about nothing. And thank you for calling me a delicious starfish.

What does it really mean to “survive” when what you survive… lingers?

@EmiNietfeld went from being homeless to graduating from Harvard. But the rags-to-riches myth isn’t ever completely true. It skips over the hardest parts—complicated families, long-term trauma on brains and bodies, the ways we wish we could go back and undo what has been done.

Emi has an incredible story to tell about resilience—what it is, and what it isn’t. You’re going to love the way she talks about the power of trying. And the ways she learned to get back up….even though she never should have had to.

Listen to our conversation wherever you get your podcasts. You are going to LOVE her.

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What does it really mean to “survive” when what you survive… lingers?
@EmiNietfeld went from being homeless to graduating from Harvard. But the rags-to-riches myth isn’t ever completely true. It skips over the hardest parts—complicated families, long-term trauma on brains and bodies, the ways we wish we could go back and undo what has been done.
Emi has an incredible story to tell about resilience—what it is, and what it isn’t. You’re going to love the way she talks about the power of trying. And the ways she learned to get back up….even though she never should have had to.
Listen to our conversation wherever you get your podcasts. You are going to LOVE her.

How do we know if our teenager is okay? @Lisa.Damour offers a more reassuring definition of what it means to be mentally well.

Hint: it’s about having the right-sized feelings that fit the situation at hand and managing those feelings effectively NOT about being HAPPY all of the time.

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How do we know if our teenager is okay? @Lisa.Damour offers a more reassuring definition of what it means to be mentally well.
Hint: it’s about having the right-sized feelings that fit the situation at hand and managing those feelings effectively NOT about being HAPPY all of the time.

Bless you who love a teenager.
You whose worries about them
keep you up at night.
wondering if you’re doing it right,
if they’re going to be okay,
if you over-reacted or under-reacted.
If you’re going to make it
through tomorrow without losing it.
Or how you’re going to have
that hard conversation without them
shutting down or shutting you out.

Bless you in this hard, beautiful work.

In those moments of big feelings,
may you remember to take a beat and offer a:
“If I was in your shoes, I’d feel the same way.”
(Even when you’re tempted to give them advice
or to solve their problem for them.
Or to offer how they could have
avoided the problem in the first place.)

Bless you in your restraint.

May you know when to intervene and
when to stay that steady, calm presence
that will offer them the grounding
to grow and change their mind and make mistakes.
May you have the patience to affirm their normal
(sometimes very big) feelings
and may your constant love
relieve their fears (and yours).
May laughter and joy fill your home,
fueling even the hardest of moments
or most difficult of conversations.

And bless all of you who wish
you would have gotten this kind of parenting.
And bless you who want to do it differently,
even when it’s imperfect.

Bless you my dears.

Inspired by my conversation
with the brilliant @lisa.damour.

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Bless you who love a teenager.
You whose worries about them
keep you up at night.
wondering if you’re doing it right,
if they’re going to be okay,
if you over-reacted or under-reacted.
If you’re going to make it
through tomorrow without losing it.
Or how you’re going to have
that hard conversation without them
shutting down or shutting you out.Bless you in this hard, beautiful work.In those moments of big feelings,
may you remember to take a beat and offer a:
“If I was in your shoes, I’d feel the same way.”
(Even when you’re tempted to give them advice
or to solve their problem for them.
Or to offer how they could have
avoided the problem in the first place.)Bless you in your restraint.May you know when to intervene and
when to stay that steady, calm presence
that will offer them the grounding
to grow and change their mind and make mistakes.
May you have the patience to affirm their normal
(sometimes very big) feelings
and may your constant love
relieve their fears (and yours).
May laughter and joy fill your home,
fueling even the hardest of moments
or most difficult of conversations.And bless all of you who wish
you would have gotten this kind of parenting.
And bless you who want to do it differently,
even when it’s imperfect.Bless you my dears.Inspired by my conversation
with the brilliant @lisa.damour.

@lisa.damour is the EXACT kind of person you want to talk to about HOW THE HECK DO YOU RAISE TEENAGERS NOWADAYS!?

We chatted about everything—from what to do if your teenager is annoyed by you (and hates the way you breathe) to how to know if their emotional response is appropriate (and when to be alarmed). She offers scripts for all of us to try when we need to practice being a calm, steady presence to the teenagers in our lives.

Listen to this conversation via the link in my bio or find EVERYTHING HAPPENS wherever you get your podcasts.

What was your favorite part of this episode?

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@lisa.damour is the EXACT kind of person you want to talk to about HOW THE HECK DO YOU RAISE TEENAGERS NOWADAYS!?
We chatted about everything—from what to do if your teenager is annoyed by you (and hates the way you breathe) to how to know if their emotional response is appropriate (and when to be alarmed). She offers scripts for all of us to try when we need to practice being a calm, steady presence to the teenagers in our lives.
Listen to this conversation via the link in my bio or find EVERYTHING HAPPENS wherever you get your podcasts.
What was your favorite part of this episode?

This is what happens when you buy a kayak that you have to build like IKEA furniture.

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This is what happens when you buy a kayak that you have to build like IKEA furniture.

How hard is it to be a parent today? After a pandemic? With social media breathing down our necks? It’s *so* hard. It is an endless push-and-pull between giving independence and giving guidance.

Dr. @lisa.damour (New York Times bestselling author of The Emotional Lives of Teenagers) has dedicated her life to unraveling the intricacies of adolescence and offering practical, heartfelt advice. And also she’s funny. So basically she’s perfect.

Listen to this conversation via the link in my bio or find EVERYTHING HAPPENS wherever you get your podcasts.

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How hard is it to be a parent today? After a pandemic? With social media breathing down our necks? It’s *so* hard. It is an endless push-and-pull between giving independence and giving guidance.Dr. @lisa.damour (New York Times bestselling author of The Emotional Lives of Teenagers) has dedicated her life to unraveling the intricacies of adolescence and offering practical, heartfelt advice. And also she’s funny. So basically she’s perfect.Listen to this conversation via the link in my bio or find EVERYTHING HAPPENS wherever you get your podcasts.

If you are reading this you have great eyesight. But also, thanks for being a person with me. The world is strange and hard for soft-hearted humans, but I think you’re a delight.

About
Resources
Contact
Podcasts
Books
Mural
Upcoming Events
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Blessings

Everything Happens.

ABOUT
- Meet Kate
  Hi, I’m Kate. I’m a Duke professor, podcaster, and author with a single mission: giving you permission to feel human. After years of being told I was incurable, I was declared cancer-free. But there’s no going back. I am forever changed by what I discovered: life is so beautiful and life is so hard. For everyone.
  ABOUT KATE
  Get to Know Me
  HUMAN
  AUTHOR
  PODCAST HOST
  SPEAKER
  How to Connect
  NEWSLETTER
  BOOKING
  EVENTS
  CONTACT
  PRESS
PODCAST
- Everything Happens.
  Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens.
  See All Episodes
  Emi Nietfeld
  The Cost of Survival
  Listen Now The Cost of Survival
  Lisa Damour
  Understanding Today’s Teenagers
  Listen Now Understanding Today’s Teenagers
  Rob Delaney
  A Heart that Works is a Heart that Hurts
  Listen Now A Heart that Works is a Heart that Hurts
  Jenna Bush Hager
  Get in the Game
  Listen Now Get in the Game
BOOKS
- Books
  Let’s untangle our culture’s obsession with toxic positivity and self-help, shall we? Kate studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we’re capable of change. She is the author seven books including three instant New York Times bestsellers.
  All Books
  Everything Happens for a Reason
  (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)
  The Lives We Actually Have
  100 Blessings for Imperfect Days
  No Cure for Being Human
  (And Other Truths I Need to Hear)
RESOURCES
- Resources
  Our goal with Everything Happens is to create rich language and vibrant community that sustains us when life comes apart. Below, you’ll find categories that may be good starting points for you. Inside are a mix of podcasts, blessings, support guides, and bonus resources that we hope will be useful.
  ALL RESOURCES
  Types
  BLESSINGS
  DEVOTIONALS
  SUPPORT GUIDES
  COURSES
  FREE DOWNLOADS
  Topics
  ILLNESS
  GRIEF
  WHAT NOT TO SAY
  RESILIENT FAITH
  INSPIRING LIVES
  NUANCED HOPE
  CARING AT HOME
  CARING AT WORK
  COMPLICATED FAMILIES
  MOVING FORWARD

Meet Kate

Get to Know Me

How to Connect

Everything Happens.

Books

Everything Happens for a Reason

The Lives We Actually Have

No Cure for Being Human

Resources

Types

Topics

Every week I usually forget most of the basics: a) you are loved. b) life is absurd. c) it’s hard to be a human.

Follow along on socials

Everything Happens.

Browse by topic

Meet Kate

Get to Know Me

How to Connect

Everything Happens.

Books

Everything Happens for a Reason

The Lives We Actually Have

No Cure for Being Human

Resources

Types

Topics

Every week I usually forget most of the basics:
a) you are loved. b) life is absurd. c) it’s hard to be a human.