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Kate Bowler
  • ABOUTExpand

    • Meet Kate

      Hi, I’m Kate. I’m a Duke professor, podcaster, and author with a single mission: giving you permission to feel human. After years of being told I was incurable, I was declared cancer-free. But there’s no going back. I am forever changed by what I discovered: life is so beautiful and life is so hard. For everyone.

      ABOUT KATE

      Get to Know Me

      HUMAN
      AUTHOR
      PODCAST HOST
      SPEAKER

      How to Connect

      NEWSLETTER
      BOOKING
      EVENTS
      CONTACT
      PRESS
      Kate Bowler sitting in front of books

  • PODCASTExpand

    • Everything Happens.

      Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens. 

      See All Episodes
      Diana Butler Bass

      Losing Religion

      Listen Now Losing Religion
      Andrew O’Hagan

      You’re Going to Need Some Friends

      Listen Now You’re Going to Need Some Friends
      Jennifer Garner

      Joy, Come Find Me

      Listen Now Joy, Come Find Me
      Mary Claire Haver

      Aging is a Privilege

      Listen Now Aging is a Privilege
  • BOOKSExpand

    • Books

      Let’s untangle our culture’s obsession with toxic positivity and self-help, shall we? Kate studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we’re capable of change. She is the author of seven books including three instant New York Times bestsellers.

      All Books

      Joyful, Anyway

      Everything Happens for a Reason

      (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)

      Have a Beautiful Terrible Day!

      Daily Meditations for the Ups, Downs & In-Betweens

      No Cure for Being Human

      (And Other Truths I Need to Hear)

  • RESOURCESExpand

    • Resources

      Our goal with Everything Happens is to create rich language and vibrant community that sustains us when life comes apart. Below, you’ll find categories that may be good starting points for you. Inside are a mix of podcasts, blessings, support guides, and bonus resources that we hope will be useful.

      ALL RESOURCES

      Types

      BLESSINGS
      DEVOTIONALS
      SUPPORT GUIDES
      COURSES
      FREE DOWNLOADS
      Discussion Guides
      FOR MINISTRY

      Topics

      ILLNESS
      GRIEF
      WHAT NOT TO SAY
      RESILIENT FAITH
      INSPIRING LIVES

      NUANCED HOPE
      CARING AT HOME
      CARING AT WORK
      COMPLICATED FAMILIES
      MOVING FORWARD

  • MERCHExpand
    • Sweatshirts
    • Shirts
    • Hats
    • Goodies
  • SUBSTACK
Kate Bowler
Kate Bowler

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

Discussion Questions

More Like This

Far from the Tree by Andrew Solomon

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor

A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

All BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

Every week I usually forget most of the basics:
a) you are loved. b) life is absurd. c) it’s hard to be a human.

If you want some smart, kind, and funny encouragement to get you through your week, sign up for my newsletter. I’d love to be your reminder. 

Follow along on socials

@katecbowler

October book pick: I SEE YOU`VE CALLED IN DEAD by John Kenney.

It`s about an obituary writer who writes his own...a little early.
We`ve all been there. (We have not all been there.)

Why this book? Comment "OBIT" to find out.

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October book pick: I SEE YOU'VE CALLED IN DEAD by John Kenney.It's about an obituary writer who writes his own...a little early. We've all been there. (We have not all been there.)Why this book? Comment "OBIT" to find out.

Contempt makes the world smaller. It turns complicated human beings into people we can dismiss.

Tim Shriver (@timothyshriver) has spent years asking what might happen if we practiced something different: seeing one another as fully human, especially across the lines that divide us.

Join me on October 12th in Durham for a live recording of @everythinghappens with Tim. We`ll chat about connection, joy, and how we might live together without reducing each other to our worst assumptions.

Tickets are available now at the link in bio.

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Open post by katecbowler with ID 18130673599804551
Contempt makes the world smaller. It turns complicated human beings into people we can dismiss.Tim Shriver (@timothyshriver) has spent years asking what might happen if we practiced something different: seeing one another as fully human, especially across the lines that divide us.Join me on October 12th in Durham for a live recording of @everythinghappens with Tim. We'll chat about connection, joy, and how we might live together without reducing each other to our worst assumptions.Tickets are available now at the link in bio.

I worry that somewhere in the middle of all the striving—the kids, the relationships, the work, the strange second job of monitoring everyone else’s happiness—women can become very good at disappearing from their own lives.

We adjust. We anticipate. We become emotional air-traffic controllers. We chameleon our way into whatever the moment requires, and then one day we look up and wonder: Wait, where did I go?

Maybe that’s part of what I love so much about joy. Joy gives us back to ourselves. For a moment, we experience that strange constellation of delight and gratitude and hope that makes us feel whole again. Not because everything is fixed. Because somehow, right here in the middle of this beautiful, terrible life, something reminds us: Oh. There I am.

Joy is made for you, too.

Thank you to The Atlantic Festival and @theatlantic for making room for such thoughtful conversations about connection, happiness, and joy—and about what it means to be human together.

Photo credit: Julia D`Ambola/BFA.com

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I worry that somewhere in the middle of all the striving—the kids, the relationships, the work, the strange second job of monitoring everyone else’s happiness—women can become very good at disappearing from their own lives.We adjust. We anticipate. We become emotional air-traffic controllers. We chameleon our way into whatever the moment requires, and then one day we look up and wonder: Wait, where did I go?Maybe that’s part of what I love so much about joy. Joy gives us back to ourselves. For a moment, we experience that strange constellation of delight and gratitude and hope that makes us feel whole again. Not because everything is fixed. Because somehow, right here in the middle of this beautiful, terrible life, something reminds us: Oh. There I am.Joy is made for you, too.Thank you to The Atlantic Festival and @theatlantic for making room for such thoughtful conversations about connection, happiness, and joy—and about what it means to be human together.Photo credit: Julia D'Ambola/BFA.com

Bless the parents and people who parent. May your children teach you to notice joy. And may you remember that joy belongs to you, not someday, but right now, in a world where Everything Happens.

This blessing was inspired by my conversation with the patron saint of parenting, @drbeckyatgoodinside, founder and host of the podcast "Good Inside." She frees us from the idea that a parent`s job is to make their child happy. Dr. Becky reminds us that what kids really need is connection, delight, and the freedom to experience the full emotional range of being human. AMEN.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

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Bless the parents and people who parent. May your children teach you to notice joy. And may you remember that joy belongs to you, not someday, but right now, in a world where Everything Happens.This blessing was inspired by my conversation with the patron saint of parenting, @drbeckyatgoodinside, founder and host of the podcast "Good Inside." She frees us from the idea that a parent's job is to make their child happy. Dr. Becky reminds us that what kids really need is connection, delight, and the freedom to experience the full emotional range of being human. AMEN.Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

What if, instead of asking our kids, “Were you happy today?” we asked, “What brought you joy?”

Happiness can feel like a verdict on the whole day. Joy asks us to notice a moment: What made you laugh? What surprised you? What felt good?

Thank you @drbeckyatgoodinside for having me and for the chance to talk about the questions we ask our kids—and ourselves.

Try it tonight. Skip “Did you have a good day?” and ask: "Where did you find joy today?”

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What if, instead of asking our kids, “Were you happy today?” we asked, “What brought you joy?”Happiness can feel like a verdict on the whole day. Joy asks us to notice a moment: What made you laugh? What surprised you? What felt good?Thank you @drbeckyatgoodinside for having me and for the chance to talk about the questions we ask our kids—and ourselves.Try it tonight. Skip “Did you have a good day?” and ask: "Where did you find joy today?”

And just like that...it’s October.🍂🍁🎃👻

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Open post by katecbowler with ID 18179169697433196
And just like that...it’s October.🍂🍁🎃👻

Sometimes we need a little lesson from the gospel of the Velveteen Rabbit.

Real friendship means eventually being seen tired, needy, repetitive, heartbroken about the same thing again. A little threadbare. And discovering that we are still worth showing up for.

So send the text. Make the call. Show up as you are. And remind a friend they don’t have to be shiny with you either.

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Open post by katecbowler with ID 18080229875341033
Sometimes we need a little lesson from the gospel of the Velveteen Rabbit.Real friendship means eventually being seen tired, needy, repetitive, heartbroken about the same thing again. A little threadbare. And discovering that we are still worth showing up for.So send the text. Make the call. Show up as you are. And remind a friend they don’t have to be shiny with you either.

“Heaven is other people.” Does it get any better than that?

Today’s episode of @everythinghappens is a love letter to friendship—the people who know our stories, make us laugh at exactly the wrong moment, and somehow keep showing up for the whole beautiful, terrible mess.

Novelist and essayist Andrew O’Hagan (@andrewohaganauthor) has spent a lifetime paying attention to friendship: what it asks of us, what it gives us, and what happens when we treat walking alongside another person as one of the great works of a life.

This conversation made me want to text everyone I love immediately.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts, then tell me: Who is the friend who has made your life more possible? Tag them below—or send them this episode and tell them why.

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Open post by katecbowler with ID 17988631179066448
“Heaven is other people.” Does it get any better than that?Today’s episode of @everythinghappens is a love letter to friendship—the people who know our stories, make us laugh at exactly the wrong moment, and somehow keep showing up for the whole beautiful, terrible mess.Novelist and essayist Andrew O’Hagan (@andrewohaganauthor) has spent a lifetime paying attention to friendship: what it asks of us, what it gives us, and what happens when we treat walking alongside another person as one of the great works of a life.This conversation made me want to text everyone I love immediately.Listen wherever you get your podcasts, then tell me: Who is the friend who has made your life more possible? Tag them below—or send them this episode and tell them why.

 

If you are reading this you have great eyesight. But also, thanks for being a person with me. The world is strange and hard for soft-hearted humans, but I think you’re a delight.

© 2026 Kate Bowler
Development by Penner Web Design

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Everything Happens.

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grief
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moving forward
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  • ABOUT

    • Meet Kate

      Hi, I’m Kate. I’m a Duke professor, podcaster, and author with a single mission: giving you permission to feel human. After years of being told I was incurable, I was declared cancer-free. But there’s no going back. I am forever changed by what I discovered: life is so beautiful and life is so hard. For everyone.

      ABOUT KATE

      Get to Know Me

      HUMAN
      AUTHOR
      PODCAST HOST
      SPEAKER

      How to Connect

      NEWSLETTER
      BOOKING
      EVENTS
      CONTACT
      PRESS
      Kate Bowler sitting in front of books

  • PODCAST

    • Everything Happens.

      Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens. 

      See All Episodes
      Diana Butler Bass

      Losing Religion

      Listen Now Losing Religion
      Andrew O’Hagan

      You’re Going to Need Some Friends

      Listen Now You’re Going to Need Some Friends
      Jennifer Garner

      Joy, Come Find Me

      Listen Now Joy, Come Find Me
      Mary Claire Haver

      Aging is a Privilege

      Listen Now Aging is a Privilege
  • BOOKS

    • Books

      Let’s untangle our culture’s obsession with toxic positivity and self-help, shall we? Kate studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we’re capable of change. She is the author of seven books including three instant New York Times bestsellers.

      All Books

      Joyful, Anyway

      Everything Happens for a Reason

      (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)

      Have a Beautiful Terrible Day!

      Daily Meditations for the Ups, Downs & In-Betweens

      No Cure for Being Human

      (And Other Truths I Need to Hear)

  • RESOURCES

    • Resources

      Our goal with Everything Happens is to create rich language and vibrant community that sustains us when life comes apart. Below, you’ll find categories that may be good starting points for you. Inside are a mix of podcasts, blessings, support guides, and bonus resources that we hope will be useful.

      ALL RESOURCES

      Types

      BLESSINGS
      DEVOTIONALS
      SUPPORT GUIDES
      COURSES
      FREE DOWNLOADS
      Discussion Guides
      FOR MINISTRY

      Topics

      ILLNESS
      GRIEF
      WHAT NOT TO SAY
      RESILIENT FAITH
      INSPIRING LIVES

      NUANCED HOPE
      CARING AT HOME
      CARING AT WORK
      COMPLICATED FAMILIES
      MOVING FORWARD

  • MERCH
    • Sweatshirts
    • Shirts
    • Hats
    • Goodies
  • SUBSTACK