God, I will wake up today and move,numbly,into each new hour. I will fill my lungs with the airof an undone, unfinished,never-before-seen day,entirely certain of how I will feelwhen it ends:tired.bored.unchanged. God, even my best efforts—my sacrificial love, my diligent work—don’t stir up anythinglike the rush of accomplishment.Whatever felt like meaningisn’t meaningful anymore.At least not…
You got it right, as poets doMr. Gerard Manley Hopkins,you with the whimsical nameand the solemn truth, that“The world is charged with the grandeur of God,It will flame out like shining from shook foil.” And that despite all that humans are and do“There lives the dearest freshness deep down things.” And it calls to us.It…
God, I can’t tellwhich personI will be today:kind and loving,turn-the-other-cheek and I’ll-be-right-here,soft but strong.I will keep no record of wrongs. I might be someone else entirely:brittle and judgmental,I’m-taking-my-share andyou-deal-with-it-alone,hard but weak.I will keep every record, dammit. I am an accountant in this worldthat does not give me what I’m owed. God, these multiple selves, you…
My world is spinning on the axisof a single thought:I should be living my best life now. Lord, other people are living their effortless, joyful, perfect lives.Why aren’t I? When I scroll social media,I see grinning faces teaching me, selling me,convincing me down to every atomof my not sufficiently moisturized skinthat I should be more….
God, I am a shape-shifter.Hidden in plain sight.A great disappearing act. Every now and again,when I am spinning in a tornadoof other people’s needs and wants,I worry that if I stepped out of itto stand dumbfounded for a moment,my body would cast no shadow. God, I vanish.The unnecessary painand necessary needsof others feel durable. Measurable.God,…
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